What is Love?

Guest post by Suzann Darnall

In February it is hard to not have one's thoughts turn to love. Surrounded during the first two weeks by hearts and cupids and preparations for Valentine’s Day, it is impossible to not have love fill the air and even a portion of one’s brain. But, in reality, what is love?

The definitions of love, from an online dictionary, include 1) an intense feeling of deep affection, 2) a great interest and pleasure in something, 3) feel a deep romantic or sexual attachment to someone. But, I have found that love is so much more than that.

Sometimes love is about flowers, chocolates, and candlelight dinners. It is hugs-n-kisses, walks in the moonlight, and bouquets of flowers. It is about poetry and romance. It is all very sweet and quite pretty. Just not necessarily all that love can be.

Sometimes love becomes a bit more permanent as one goes from dating to courtship to marriage. Romantic dinners out become quiet dinners at home, which can become family dinners after a baby or two arrives. But, even weddings, family dinners, and raising children is
not the be all end all definition of love.

There is, of course, the pure love of Christ, known as charity, but that is another topic for another time. While it is often incorporated to many of the others kinds of love that can occur, it is not where I am headed with my thoughts right now.

I am finding that love is an ever evolving emotion AND relationship AND word. Love is sooo much more than I ever realized before. And, I am seeming to learn new things about it each day. New ways to love and to be loved.

Love is a daughter who regularly feeds your horses and barn-cats, plus lets your dog out for potty breaks on chemo days. Love is daughters taking you out for dinner, bringing food to the house, snacks to the hospital, or sending home leftovers after a delicious meal.
Love is a daughter who sits in on chemo session ‘cause she worries. Love is two daughters who want updates on everything that might be affecting Mom and Dad as we all deal with this cancer-chemo journey.

Love is a father coming to spend time with you to help while your husband is in the hospital following major surgery. Love is a mother coming to visit and spending an entire day spoiling you ‘cause you are a full-time caretaker for your husband. Love is siblings sending sweet cards, texts, emails, and Facebooks messages for you and your husband. Love is cousins and other family members wanting updates about my husband’s health and sharing messages to let us know they care.

Love can be a friend who texts you each day just to let you know they care. Love can be a friend who makes sure your sick husband’s name is kept on the prayer roll. Love can be several internet friends letting you know regularly that they are praying for you and for your husband. Love can be a friend crying with you in the temple as you share your fears on the cancer/chemo journey you are traveling with your husband.

Many from church show us love with prayers and blessings. They bring the Sacrament if we cannot make it to church. They do service like clearing fallen branches or moving bags of grain. Do favors like loaning a trailer to haul hay, making cards that I can give a sick husband to cheer him up, or bringing a delicious hot drink mix that makes him feel better.

Love is a sick husband who has very little energy some days, but uses a bit of it to help you empty the dishwasher. Love is a husband who tells you each day how grateful he is for your tending to his needs. Love is having him seek you out just to give you a hug on a bad day.

Love is learning all sorts of new things to help care for your sick husband. Love is learning to flush an IV line or empty a surgical drain bag. Love is setting up a medical cart to make it easier to deal with all the meds and scheduling and supplies necessary to care for a cancer-chemo patient at home. Love is driving up and down IH-35 to Brooke Army Medical Center for various appointments, even though you hate city and commuter traffic. And, love is even doing the freeway flyovers that terrify you!

Love is
the man who makes my world go ‘round. His name is Pete. He has been married to me for more than 41 years. He is the father of my two daughters. We have seven grandchildren. We have two very nice sons-in-law. We have a lovely home. We have a Great Dane, two
Mustangs, a couple of barn cats, and four habitats of fish. Yes, he spoils me and always has. And, that is another kind of love.

Which is why I do not mind spoiling him and caring for him in his time of need. ‘Cause that is love, too. Offering comfort in whatever ways I can to make him feel even a little bit better. Helping him to be as healthy as possible in this difficult time. To make him feel loved. ‘Cause he is loved. Very much loved. By me. By our children and grandchildren. By my parents. By our siblings and extended family. By friends. And, even by our animals. Especially our Great Dane, Blue, who shows his love regularly by staying close to Pete and checking on him multiple times each day.

So, what is love? Kinda depends on what you need at the time. Kinda depends on what is needed by those around you. But, it is caring, sharing, and daring. It is kind. It is companionable. It is what keeps us together. It is one of the most important things in the world. Even to the Lord.

John 13:34 “A new commandment I give unto you, That ye love one another; as I have loved you, that ye also love one another.” What is love? A law I can live with!