I am watching President Trump's celebratory speech in the White House. Not actually a speech...just letting us know what he has gone through. It is like he is right here sitting with us in our living room. "It was all bullshit. Dirty cops. Corrupt politicians. This is politics! We were treated unbelievably unfairly. We thought after the election the nastiness would stop, but it didn't stop, it just started! Tremendous corruption. We didn't know we were running against some very bad and evil people with fake dossiers. The dirty cops knew all about it. Russia, Russia, Russia should have taken one day but it took years."
My legal team right from the beginning said, "You don't have to worry, sir, because you have all of the facts on your side." I said, "You don't understand...That doesn't matter! A corrupt politician named Adam Schiff made up my statement to the Ukrainian president. Just made it up out of thin air! He's a failed screenwriter! Unfortunately, he went into politics after that!"
Somebody said, "Mitch is quiet." I said, "He's not quiet! He doesn't want people to know him! He has given us 191 federal judges and two Supreme Court Justices. He's a tough guy to read. I am good at reading people. He's a tough guy to read. I asked somebody, "How did you do with Mitch?" "I don't know" was the answer. "Mitch understood right from the beginning this was crooked politics!"
Next, Trump introduces various Senators who helped him. He gives Iowa's Chuck Grassley credit for causing corrupt Jim Comey to choke and admit illegally leaking and lying. Then, he mentioned the support he got from Josh Hawley of Missouri. Mike Lee of Utah is a "brilliant guy. He's difficult!
Say hello to the people of Utah and tell them I'm sorry about Mitt Romney."
"Democrats are lousy politicians, but they are vicious. Adam Schiff is a vicious, horrible person! Nancy Pelosi is a horrible person. These are vicious people, but they stick together like glue!"
"Why isn't Germany paying (countries like Ukraine)? Why are we in the United States paying? Because we are a bunch of suckers! But that's turning around fast!"
"They'll probably try to impeach me again. I have gone up against Jerry Nadler all my life, but I've always beaten him. And I'll do it again if I have to. Very unfair. Very unfair!"
His favorites? Devin Nunes and Jim Jordan! And, "if we are doing a remake of Perry Mason, the man I would pick would be John Ratcliffe! Steve Scalise looks better now than before he was shot! Two brave police officers came forward with handguns and one of them killed the shooter from a long distance. Later, a few months ago Steve was back at 2nd base and caught a ball, fell down, and threw the guy out at first base!"
Saving the best for last, Trump brings up the insurance policy discussed by Peter and Lisa, the corrupt FBI lovers. "After I fired that sleazebag Jim Comey, all Hell broke out and the dirty cops were ratting on each other. Then, they deleted all their emails!"
"What we could do working with both parties in Congress would be unbelievable! We've done so much without it! Rebuilt our military, we've cut regulations at a level nobody thought possible, we'll always protect our Second Amendment."
"I want to apologize to my family for them having to go through a phony, rotten, deal by some very evil and sick people." Then he invites daughter Ivanka and wife Melania to come forward to great applause.
"Our country is thriving and is respected again! It is an honor to be with the people in this room!" President and Mrs. Trump leave the room as someone plays God Bless America on the piano.
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