Troll away, lefties

Do you have problems with Marxist trolls commenting on your blog? Sarah Hoyt, being the libertarian capitalist that she is, has come up with an idea.

And thus, I’ve come up with the troll policy we shall call The Whore of Libertarianism.

Here’s the idea – whether you come here to get your yah yah’s off, or you come here because you think you’re enlightening the heathens, or you come here because you got this lousy job off craigslist, this blog is a libertarian blog and firmly rooted in capitalism. If you want your comments to stand you shall most surely pay.* Beneath is a fee simple schedule, going from highest to lowest. Assuredly, it won’t cover everything, but in cases not covered, I’d go for the highest fee.

Troll Fee Charge List

Anti- Semitic Comment, particularly of the kind that believes in a Zionist conspiracy dominating the world – $1000

Racist comment, either proclaiming the superiority of your race – based on, of all things, your skin color – or the inferiority of others — $1000

Misogynistic comment/misandristic comment — $1000

One line comment calling me, the huns, or anyone on this blog a bad name — $500. $200 to be added per non-pg=13 word used.

Link to your blog so you can tell us how stupid we are $500.

Comment lecturing us on the joys of communism – $500

Link directing us to wikipages on the joys of communism – $250 (Well, we don’t have to follow.)

Comment lecturing us on Marxism, particularly when applied to the soft sciences — $250. (If you can successfully apply Marx to the hard sciences, no charge – it’s entertainment value.)

Comment lecturing us on the religious/historical/moral values you think we hold — $100 (because you have entertainment value!)

Insulting comment about my/ours moral intellect and beliefs, whether related to the post or not, but not using any profanity — $100 (With a $50 dollar surcharge for every 200 word increment.)

Random comment that leaves us wondering what the heck you think you’re talking about, $50 – with an extra $50 surcharge per 200 words.

Note that these fees are PER COMMENT, not per commenter.

Anyone failing to pay and repeatedly engaging in trolling behavior, will have his comments deleted and/or be banned from this blog. Anyone paying will have a notice appended to his comment stating how much they paid.

The first idiot to complain that I’m violating his first amendment rights on a private blog, paid for and maintained from my own personal purse, shall owe me $1000 dollars, paid within ten minutes, or he’s banned.

Excluded from this “pay for me to keep the comment up” are obvious commercial trolls, of the sort that have links to various scams, comments written exclusively in Chinese and the ones touting naked anything including but not limited to mole rats. The policy will be applied at the sole discretion of the blog owner. Some non explicit restrictions may apply. Void or invalid where prohibited.

*This doesn’t apply to merely stupid, misguided or otherwise ignorant souls, who engage in honest debate, but the moment I’ve determined you’re a troll, your comment being approved/staying visible depends on a donation hitting my paypal tout de suite. I will then post a disclaimer saying that the comment stays up because you paid x amount. Note this does not prevent the huns from pounding on you, since chances are that this is what you crave.