If you like your head you can keep your head.

Manhatten Infidel has another scoop. The al Qaeda website (www.alqaedahealthcare.gov) has crashed, causing mush embarrassment for their leader, Ayman al-Zawahiri. Here is a small excerpt from M.I.'s in depth coverage of the breaking story.

Reports of website crashes and members either not being able to sign up or losing their coverage are legion, resulting in plummeting poll numbers for Ayman al-Zawahiri and forcing him to hold an unprecedented press conference as damage control.

Since the alqaedahealthcare.gov web site went live, over one million Muslims have gotten notices saying that they were going to lose their head. Others have not been able log onto the al Qaeda exchanges to sign up for healthcare. Those that have had their premiums rise dramatically for coverage they do not need. Said one man:

I am an 40 year old Muslim male. Why do I need pre-natal care? What do I care about female parts? Circumcise them all! All glory to the Prophet!

During his press conference Zawahiri addressed the troubles with the website directly.

No one is angrier about this than me. But let me just say this. No one will be denied coverage. No one’s head will be chopped off for preexisting conditions like being an educated woman. If you like your head, you can keep your head. And let me repeat: If you cannot get through to the website you can call our 800 number. Operators will be standing by. So call the number. Just remember to speak loudly and clearly as our operators are wearing veils that cover their ears.

Now, as I indicated earlier, I completely get how upsetting this can be for a lot of Muslims, particularly the male ones who can drive, vote and go out in public without an escort. I hear you loud and clear. I said that I would do everything we can to fix this problem.

And, you know, I mean, even though we fumbled the rollout on this health care law there are a whole bunch of things in the new law that are working fine, like making sure that male children can stay on their parents’ plan until they are 45 and ensuring that females get circumcised and not drive cars as well as making sure that male seniors have more virgins.