Nowhere to go, but up!

Colleen reminded me today of a story I love to tell, but I don't think I have ever written about it here on this blog.

When I owned a store called The Greenery in Durango, Colorado, every spring and summer we would sell bedding plants. About every two weeks I would drive the van several hours to some wholesale greenhouse, hand-pick the healthiest plants, and bring them back to Durango for sale.

On one of those trips, snow covered the ground all the way, but the sun was shining brightly. Not having sun glasses, and not being smart enough to stop and buy a pair, I became sleepier and sleepier as I drove. The road in the San Luis Valley was narrow, and there were no shoulders where I could pull off the road and nap.

So, I fell asleep. The van veered off through a fence into a field. Because I was not smart enough to wear a seat belt, I was thrown out through the windshield. I lay flat on my back in a cold, wet field as the state trooper tried to ascertain whether I had been drinking (had not).

The ambulance took me to a nearby NURSING HOME! I called my partner to come and get me. She arrived the next day, and we continued to our greenhouse destination. We drove past the van, which was flat as a pancake! On the way back to Durango we got all the way over Wolf Creek Pass, only to be stopped by a mudslide at the bottom of the pass. We turned around and went back over the pass, down into New Mexico and back up to Durango.

A few days later it was time for me to go to court in the little town of Saguache, Colorado, which was the county seat nearest to where I had destroyed my van and a farmer's fence.

I prepared diligently for my defense, reading up on the Colorado laws, as the Greyhound bus took me over the mountain passes and down in the valley to the court hearing.

Confidently, I presented my case to the judge, explaining how I could not have been negligent, since I was looking for a place to turn off the narrow road to rest, when I fell asleep. Naturally, I pled not guilty.

The judge said, "Mr. Agard, you are as guilty as any person who has ever appeared in my courtroom!"

I laugh about this, whenever I think about it. When you are that wretchedly guilty, you have really hit bottom, and there is nowhere to go, but up!